Zombies? Seriously?
by C.Joan
Summary: How would, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor and Loki survive a zombie apocalypse? Takes place in high school. Hints of Frostiron and some Clintasha. AU/AH.


_I know I shouldn't really post a new story when I've just started my first but this popped into my head after a lot of pre-birthday drinking. Then I got some bad family news today and needed to take my mind off it and this is the result! _

_I'm still not totally sure why it popped into my head..._

_Its just a trial at the moment to see if anyone actually wants to read it and its also my attempt at a bit of humor which I'm not totally sure I can do. Its just a bit of fun :o)_

Well let me know what you think! Its un beta'd so sorry for that.  
  
_**Disclaimer - I don't own Avengers.**_

**Chapter 1**

She had to give kudos to Loki for this one. When he had text her at 1am this morning telling her to make sure she turned up to school today she'd been expecting something good. Actually she'd replied with a demand that whatever he was planning had better be good. He normally didn't care how many sick days she pulled unless he'd planned a prank, then he seemed to like Natasha there to enjoy it with him. And the missed day in bed was definitely worth it.

Somehow he had managed to put washing up liquid into the field sprinkler system. The result was a sea of foam glistening in the sunlight, accompanied by the refreshing smell of tangerine and ginger. It really was a lovely sight. Made all the more special by the football teams reaction to their new pitch.

Natasha smirked as she watched them shout and stomp their feet like petulant children. From her spot on the bleachers she could see everything. Victor was currently going red in the face as he screamed obscenities at coach Dugan, who in turn looked like he was close to tears. Poor Steve, the captain, stood staring at the football pitch in pure horror. She didn't want to forget a single moment so she pulled her phone from her jean pocket and started snapping pictures.

"Enjoying the show Romanoff?" A smooth voice asked from behind her as a pair of green chucks rested on the seat next to her.

Turning around in her head she graced Loki with a rare grin. "This has made my week"

He raised an eyebrow, "Only a week? I almost broke my ankle scaling that damn fence."

"Poor Loks. Ok it made my fortnight." She said after little deliberation.

Loki watched her for a few seconds before shrugging. "Actually I was pretty impressed with making your week."

Rolling her eyes Natasha moved so she was sitting sideways, straddling the bleacher and poked his calf sharply. Loki jerked his leg slightly and gave her a glare although it didn't really work through the sunglasses he wore. Leaning back on his elbows he surveyed his handy work.

"I'm guessing they haven't figured out its you?"

"Fury looked at me suspiciously when I passed him in the hallway on my way out here. Coulson is convinced its Hydra's retaliation for us winning the last football match." Loki replied, sounding bored. "He was ranting about it to Ms Hill."

Natasha looked up at him. "Hmm." Holding back a yawn she glanced back to the football pitch. "So how's Thor?"

"He's…Thor." He frowned. "Still obnoxious and loud as ever." His brother had been sent home from collage. Apparently there had been some kind of epidemic spreading across campus and as a safety precaution those who hadn't been affected were sent home for the week. Unfortunately their parents had picked that week to go on holiday with the Roger's, leaving Loki to deal with his older brother.

"This flu thing must be pretty bad if they've closed the place."

"Whatever the reason I'm stuck with that neanderthal for the week while our parents holiday." He let out a huff. "All he does is stomp around and mope after his latest girlfriend. Its quite disgusting"

Natasha sniggered and peered up at him. "You can always come and stay with me for the week. Ivan wouldn't mind. He's got a soft spot for you."

"Of course he has." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Maybe I will. Although Thor may just burn the place down…Did I tell you he almost exploded the microwave on the weekend?"

"No! What did he do this time?" She asked, folding her arms on his leg and resting her chin on them.

"Wanted to make rice crispy cakes. Tried to melt the chocolate in the microwave while it was still in the foil packet." He smirked.

The redhead laughed softly. "Never a dull day when Thor's home huh?"

"Something like that. You know Barton is watching you don't you?"

Natasha frowned, her brain taking a few seconds to register his sudden turn in conversation. "What?"

"Barton," He rolled his eyes. "He's watching you from his perch on the roof." He nodded his head in the direction of the school.

Turning her gaze to the school she let out a long sigh at the figure sat with his legs dangling over the edge. Clint Barton. Her own personal stalker. Well ok, it wasn't that bad but she was a private person, she liked to keep herself to herself and Barton was seriously putting a dent in that. Ever since she had turned his date offer down at the start of their junior year, it was like he was on a mission to win her over. Apparently no one turned Clint Barton down. Whatever.

"This is seriously getting old now"

Loki smirked as he watched his best friend. "You say that but I know if he stopped you'd be disappointed."

Natasha huffed, not wanting to admit he was right, and poked his calf again, harder this time, feeling smug when he winced. Luckily Loki was saved from more bodily harm when the school bell rang. Standing up and grabbing their bags they both took one more look at the football pitch and let out happy sighs before making their way inside.

Tony Stark hated school. Despised it really. He didn't need it after all. He was a genius, pure and simple. Why he turned down the chance to study and MIT he'll never know. Something about wanting to experience high school was what he told his father. Well that backfired didn't it? Yeah he was popular, could have any girl he wanted, any guy as well for that matter but when it came to learning? He knew it all. Literally, all of it. His homework was always turned in ahead of time because it took no effort to do it. And it always amused him to show the teachers up when he handed his work in. Especially in science. He was awesome at science. He was the, self-proclaimed, smartest kid in the school. Ok to be fair, he was the smartest kid in the whole state. Quite possibly the whole country but he didn't want to come across too arrogant so he'd settle for state, for now.

Walking into biology he tossed his bag on the table and flopped into his chair. His desk mate, Bruce Banner, spared him a glance before going back to doodling in his notebook. "Heard we're have a substitute today. That flu thing got Mr Wilson."

Tony groaned and slid down his chair. "Great. Like this class isn't painful enough any way."

Bruce chuckled slightly. "Its not that bad and you know it. Wilson always gives us better stuff to do."

"Hmm, true" He conceded watching as Bruce drew a weird angry face. Bruce was pretty new to the school, he'd only been there 6 months and when Tony had realised how smart the guy was he'd taken him under his wing. He wasn't much of a talker but when he got onto a subject he felt passionate about, mainly science, you couldn't shut the guy up. That was one of the reasons Tony had claimed him for his best friend. He finally had someone he could talk to, and get a decent response in return.

"Everyone is coming down with this flu thing." Tony pointed out. "Half the school is out. The town is becoming a ghost town. Howard mentioned meetings being cancelled in New York cause of it."

Bruce glanced at Tony when he mentioned his father. "Called you then did he?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Only took three weeks." He muttered, took his own pen from his pocket and proceeded to draw a robot next to Bruce's scary face. "The hospitals are being closed down, did you know? Too many people are coming in. Even some of the collages have been closed. And they keep this place open?" He shook his head. "Maybe tomorrow." He said hopefully.

"Maybe. Some freshman collapsed in first period. If its that bad I don't see why Fury is keeping us here."

"Its ever since he lost his eye ya know." Tony said like it explained everything. "Hey you want to come over tonight? I have some new stuff I'm working on, I could use a hand."

"Sure." He mumbled, working on a body to go with the face. "You see the pitch?"

Tony snorted and grinned, nodding slightly. "Yeah I did. You see Caps face?"

Bruce hid a grin. "Yeah. Poor Steve. I heard it was Hydra."

"I heard that too." Tony replied absentmindedly. Hmm, maybe his robot should shoot lasers from his palms? "Although Loki looked pretty smug earlier."

There was a pause as Bruce glanced at him, he wondered how long it'd take for him to bring Loki into conversation. Bruce had noticed it a lot of the last couple of weeks. If Tony wasn't complaining about the green eyed mischief maker, or managing to bring him up in most conversations, he'd find his friend searching him out in the crowd. Bruce didn't exactly see what his friend saw in Loki, although he was pretty sure said friend wasn't even aware of his feelings quite yet. "Ah yes, Loki." Bruce said knowingly, going back to working on his drawing.

"Either way," Tony started, oblivious to the tone of his friends voice, "And don't tell anyone I said this, it was pretty awesome."

Bruce sniggered and nodded, putting his pen down as the supply teacher walked in looking frazzled and pretty zombie like. When he realised the teacher couldn't care less and sat at the desk with out giving out any instructions, he glanced around the room. He wondered if anyone had colouring pencils. He fancied putting some colour to his angry looking man, maybe green.

Clint paced his bedroom later that night. He'd been keeping an eye on the news, on the internet and all the conspiracy websites he frequented. Everything he'd heard and read lead to one thing as far as he was concerned. Zombie apocalypse. It was obvious. And it had already started. On his way home from school the police had cordoned off a house two streets down. As he'd walked passed they had eyed him warily so he picked up the pace, but not before he caught sight of a bloody hand in the door way. Just a hand, nothing else. Add that on top of all this 'illness' going around, hospitals being shut down. A nationwide flu outbreak? Sure, course it was. He rolled his eyes and spun on his heel, taking another lap of the room.

As he turned towards the window he saw his neighbours bedroom light turn on a dived for the walkie-talkie.

"Cap? Come in Cap." He stood watching the window opposite his own.

There was a paused before Steve Rogers came into view. He raised his left eye brow and crossed his arms as he stared at Clint. After a few seconds he opened his bedroom window and motioned for Clint to do the same.

Clint glared and made a big deal of turning the lock on his own window, then waved the walkie-talkie urgently. He saw Steve take a deep breath before he stepped away form the window, a few seconds later his voice came through the walkie-talkie and he came back into view.

"What Clint?"

"No." Clint glared harder. "You promised."

There was a pause as Steve threw his hands in the air, then he brought the walkie-talkie closer to his mouth. "What…Hawkeye? That promise was made when we were ten years old."

"And? Promises don't have an expiry date." Clint pointed out. "Anyway. Its an awesome name." He saw Steve shake his head and let out a small laugh. Clint shot him a grin.

"So what's up?" Steve asked, sitting on the edge of his windowsill.

Clint paused. In his head everything made sense but saying those words out loud? Steve had been his best friend since they were 8 years old. He'd been there for him through everything. Through his mum dying. Through his dads drinking. Through his brother running away and leaving him to deal with their father at 14 years old. And if he was right, which he knew he was, Steve would be with him through this.

"I need to come over. Go make some hot chocolates." Clint ordered and without waiting for an answer put the walkie-talkie down and turned his back to the window. He missed Steve flip him the finger as he left the room.

Clint grabbed his laptop and popped it in its bag and slung it over his body. He made sure his bedroom door was locked, not that it mattered. His dad would be out drinking till who knows when, then he'd come home, and pass out on the sofa. Still, it was better to be safe then sorry. Switching his bedroom light off he made his way to his window and unlocked it, then carefully climbed out. With more grace then he realised he possessed he climbed down the drain pipe, jumped over the fence between the two houses and scaled up the Roger's drain pipe then swung himself into Steve's room. Grinning triumphantly he placed the laptop bag next to Steve's own laptop on the desk, then kicked off his shoes and sat cross legged on the bed.

Within a few minuets Steve came back up carrying a tray of two hot chocolates, one with cream and marshmallow and one with just cream, and a plate of cookies.

Clint grinned, momentarily forgetting about the forthcoming zombie apocalypse, and reached for a cookie as Steve placed the tray on the bed and sat next to him. "Your mum makes the best cookies." He mumbled, taking another one before he'd finished the first.

Steve nodded scooping up some of the whipped cream from his hot chocolate with a cookie and taking a generous bite. "Mmm-hmm" He grinned. "I need it after today." He said once he'd finished his bite, face falling.

"Oh yeah. I saw that… Did Dugan really cry?"

"Yeah," Steve said and glanced at his friend sheepishly. "I didn't know whether to join him or laugh."

Clint laughed. "I saw. I was on the roof."

"Stalking Natasha again?"

"No!" Clint said a little too quickly. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink, licking his top lip to rid it of the cream. "No. I wanted a better look at the pitch."

Steve pouted and looked down at his half eaten cookie. "Damn Hydra."

Clint watched him and thought back to earlier today. Loki had looked far too happy with himself as he sat with Natasha. He'd timed it pretty well to be fair. The win against Hydra had been a big deal for the school. It'd only make sense for them to be the obvious culprits.

He let out a little sigh as his thoughts turned to Natasha. She was his dream girl there were no doubts about that.

Next to him Steve rolled his eyes and nudged him gently in the ribs. "I'm sure you came over here for a reason."

"Oh yeah!" Clint grinned for a split second then turned serious. "Here me out ok?"

Steve groaned. "I hate it when you start with that. Its always something stupid."

"Its never anything stupid!" Clint said defensively.

"You mean like the time you were convinced old Mrs Collins down the street had trained her cats to stalk you?"

"Dude those little fuckers were evil. Did you see the way they looked at me?" He shuddered. "They were planning my death."

Steve held back a laugh and patted Clint on the back. "Devil cats."

Clint nodded in agreement, his eyes flickering to the window. Quickly he got up and checked for any devil cats lurking in the shadows, then locked the window and shut the curtains. Ignoring Steve's amused look he grabbed his laptop from the case and brought it over to the bed, switching it on.

"Ok so, you've heard about all this flu stuff right?"

"Yeah." Steve frowned. "Pretty bad if what the news is saying is right."

"They aren't. Well they kind of are. A bit. I guess. Anyway, I've been keeping an eye on it all and I promise you. Something is being hidden from us." He said, bringing up a web page and tilting the laptop to face Steve more. "Yeah people are ill but its not the flu. Its worse. I'm guessing some kind of government experiment, that's what it normally is anyway. I knew this would happen eventua-"

"Wait!" Steve cut him off. "What do you mean government experiment?" He asked confused. As the webpage finally loaded and he saw the words that headed the article his eyes widened. "Zombies? Seriously? Barton!"

"Hey! Don't Barton me _Roger's_!" He huffed. "I know it sounds far fetched. I _know_ that! But…But look!" He pointed to the screen. "People are dropping dead. Literally just dropping like flies. And look at this one! You honestly think that's not real?" On the screen was a blurred picture of a street, much like the one they lived on. Steve could make out a body lying on the floor, obviously dead but what really turned his stomach was the individual hovered over the body, mouth and hands red.

Putting the cookie he held down he turned the laptop away, not wanting to look at it anymore. "Ok yeah, that's pretty disgusting but its obviously fake." He pointed out.

"Is it?" Clint asked quietly. "There's more ya know. More pictures. All just as gross and all different. There's clips too. The FBI or CIA or whatever are trying to take this stuff down but there's too much. Why do you think stuff is being shut down? They are trying to stop the spread. And do you honestly believe that may people have come down with the flu that quick?"

Steve was quiet for a short while. "This is…its utterly mad. That's what it is. Zombies don't exist."

"Er, yeah they do. I just showed you." Clint said impatiently. "This shit is real Cap. The government is hiding it but its getting too big for them to keep quiet. Things are leaking through and sooner or later everyone will know. And those that don't will be Zombies." He said firmly.

"Right." Steve said tiredly. "And what exactly are we going to do if it is real?"

"It is real." Clint shot him a glare. "And don't worry. I knew this would happen eventually. I have a bag and supplied back home."

"Course you do." Steve said faintly. "Look I just…I cant…I'm tired Clint."

Clint nodded. "Your right. We should rest. Shit could hit the fan real quick and we need to be rested. Your parents are out of town still right?" Steve nodded and watched as Clint stood from the bed and pulled the spare mattress out from under the bed. "I'm staying here tonight. Just in case."

"In case of Zombies or devil cats?" Steve asked, going to find some bed linen. He couldn't be bothered to argue with him any more, he was too tired

Clint paused and threw an uneasy look at the window again. "Both." He called out.

-

So yeah! Thanks for reading. Lemme know what you think. I'm sorry if the guys are too OC or stuff. If anyone has anything they wanna see in the fic let me know :o)

Review? 0:o)


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